I woke up this morning to the jubilant strains of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake on KDFC. Instead of smacking the snooze button I snuggled more deeply into my feather bed and buried my smile deeper into my pillow. In my semi-conscious state I saw visions of little girls in pink tutus tippy-toeing and jete-ing across the stage.
I love ballet! When I was seven my mother took me to see the legendary Dame Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nuryev perform Swan Lake at the Tokyo Festival Hall. Mom said stars gleamed in my eyes during the lavish performance.
Mom indulged my every caprice.
“Capricho!” she would chuckle everytime I expressed a desire for something.
Hence the ballet lessons. Except for wearing my white school uniform, I lived in pink tights, black leotards and ballet shoes everyday. I even got good enough so that I was chosen to play a little swan for my ballet class recital at age 9. During one rehearsal I was so eager and enthusiastic about playing a little swan that I pirouetted myself right off the stage and broke my arm and ankle. Calamity Jane was a childhood nickname. Sad Sack was another.
I’m reminded of an email that got passed around sometime ago that said something like, “Love like you’ve never been hurt, and dance like no one’s watching…”
Adios, writer’s block! Goodbye insecurity! To hell with critics! From here on in, I shall write like no one’s reading.
I shall write freely and let my words fly like bats at sunset ascending into the night.
I shall write joyously like whales breaching the surface of the sea.
I shall type away until my fingers break through the membrane and morph into butterfly wings.
I shall pour out my heart, like there’s no end to the bloodletting.
I shall cry away the shame with words to purify me.
I shall turn those phrases like a pirouette with no end on a world stage without edges.
And then I shall end with a grand arabesque and curtsy to wild applause!
Yes, yes! I shall write like no one’s reading… Yes!
9 comments:
There are a lot of us reading and being inspired by your beautiful writings my dearest friend! :)
wild!!! :-)
I think better than writing like no one is reading, is writing to a friendly crowd of people that appreciate your blogging, like what you have here.
Anyway, on my way to hell, I want to comment that I found the last sentence very excessive.
hello,
i don't think that your last sentence is excessive- i think it's just right but then again i'm not on my way to hell :-)
A critic is a critic. Welcome to hell. Oh, and "bloodletting" is an unfitting metaphor.
I am delighted to see that my blog entry has sparked a conversation. I welcome all thoughts -- good, bad, neutral, praising, damning, constructive, destructive, endearing, enraging. Everyone's voice and vision has its own intrinsic value. Having said that... F-U, Tormod! Just kidding, "my friend", as John McCain usually says. "My friend" Tormod is a friend whose intelligent opinions I treasure. ;-))
Well, I could be wrong about the last sentence, if the majority would feel it was "just right". To me, it was too much, detracting from the poeticness. Both the title, a sentence and a general message of the blog says "write like no one's reading", and that last sentence tries to rape my soul with it's excessiveness and repititiveness as if I've overdosed on soda or loud metal music, depleting and dulling my bodymind.
:)
And what's up with "bloodletting"? That sounds sick, inappropriate and awful. How is tapping blood out of our bodies a good meatphor on expressing ones heartfelt emotions? Yes, yes - I dislike it, yes!
...but since I'm such a fair and decent person, I want to add that I liked the rest of your blog, and really like your writing in general! ;)
yours sincerly,
Tormod
Bloodletting is also known as Phlebotomy and can be an important part of rebirth. :-)
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