Thursday, December 20, 2007

DNA Dating - Beyond the Hook-Up

Good lord, what will they think of next!?!?!

During my daily digg-ing around the internet I stumbled upon scientificmatch.com, a dating service that’s differentiating itself from eHarmony and other online personals by claiming that it’s now possible to find your match with a saliva swab of your cheek.

That’s right, boys and girls! If you’re seriously looking for more than the weekend hookup, then the computers at scientificmatch will analyze your strands and spit out your dream date from their database whose smell will electrify you into ecstasy.

Of course you still have to fill out the forms about yourself and what you’re looking for –man seeking woman, woman seeking man, man seeking man, woman seeking woman, fit or fat – that kind of thing.

And you also have to declare your values and personality type and commit to it. That’s right! Once you complete the questionnaire, you can’t change your mind. So if you claim you’re the life of the party and realize later that you’re actually a misogynistic sociopath, pity the hottie who enjoyed the waft of your pheromone.

What next? After paying up, you’ll get a manila envelope in the mail with long cotton swabs like the ones you see on CSI. You then swab the insides of your cheek and send it back. (Please make sure you brush and rinse first. I saw an exhibit at the Exploratorium once and the kid I was with wanted to see his DNA on the screen. Well, he had just eaten a hotdog with all the fixin’s and malted milk balls. All of that gunk showed up on the screen.) The company assures you that no human will actually see your DNA (and don’t worry, they won’t send it to the FBI).

Point is, if all the superficial parameters of your search are met, all you have to worry about is narrowing down to physical chemistry.

Wait a minute. Isn’t that what real life dating is all about anyway?!?!?

2 comments:

Oldude59 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oldude59 said...

I kind of like taking all the guess work out of romance - I'm waiting on the day when I can simply acquire a love bot. No more unruly emotions and changes or any of the other stuff - just wires, lights, fluids and the proper number of holes. Doesn't that sound like a romantic oldude.

The truth of the matter is that the science of love is getting smarter all the time - like happiness. But like happiness - we don't really know how to predict what's going to make us happy and really don't know what's going to really catch us up in love.

But for a business model - I love the DNA thing for $2,500 or what I heard it cost. I'd buy stock before I'd date one of its offering.